My Story My Nightmare
by DrinkDanceParty
Summary: "The problem is dreams don't come true. It's the nightmares that always seen to become the reality. So this is my story… this is my nightmare" What if Sakura never met Ino during their youth? What if she met someone else who was just as alone in this world as she was maybe even more. Promising to never leave his side and be his forever a Shika/Saku story. T for now will go up to M.
1. Chapter 1

**My Story... My Nightmare**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters involved in this story.

**Warnings: **There will be violence, adult content/situations and rude language so this is your warning if you don't like any of those things. Rating T for now but will go up to M later.

This is my first Shikamaru/Sakura pairing fic so I'm sorry if any characters are a little OC. Also this is the first story that I'm uploading on this new account as I made my old account when I was like 12 and I haven't updated any of my old stories in about three years... opps! But I am going to try to be better with this new account like not having more than one story going at a time. I plan to finish each story before moving on to a new one this time lol

Anyway I'm sorry if Shikamaru seems a little out of character he is my favourite character in Naruto but I have never attempted to write him before and I'm finding it difficult to stay true to his personality with my story plot. I promise after this chapter he will be more true to character this is just the prologue to establish the setting and give some background details. Also sorry about any spelling or grammar, especially the grammar lol I am not going to pretend I was ever good at english so sorry about that but I think my writing isn't to terrible at least its readable unlike many fics I'v read so don't bother bitching about it cause I could really care less about my spelling and grammar I write for fun and thats it I don't have time to have a beta so this is about as good as its gonna get lol :)

Anyway hope you enjoy and please review!

* * *

I was never like the other kids.

I always knew I was different and it wasn't just because of the way I looked even though that made up a big part of it. Sure most kids didn't have eyes like mine… ok so no one had eyes like mine but still I didn't see why people made such a big deal about them, so what if they were completely black? The Hyūga clan was known for possessing their clan's Kekkei Genkai the Byakugan that resulted in their eyes being pure white and no body looked at them the way they looked at me.

For as long as I can remember people have treated me differently whether it be them unconsciously moving away from me in the streets and in the hallways of the academy or when parents glared at me if I went anywhere near their children immediately grabbing them and pulling them away. I wasn't ignorant enough to not know about the whispers that followed me everywhere I went.

I knew what people thought of me… I knew what they said.

"_Demon child"_

"_How could Shikaku and Yoshino given birth to that… thing?"_

"_Freak"_

"_Why does the Hokage let that thing attend the academy?"_

"_Monster"_

"_He should have been the one that died not Yoshino" _

"_Murderer"_

"_Stay away from him"_

I didn't know why I was like the way I was. No one in my clan could do what I could. To them our clans special ninjutsu was just thata ninjutsu a powerful one yes but a ninjutsu all the same, nothing more and nothing less. That was until I was born…

My parents had always wanted a child and had tried for years to conceive to only be unsuccessful every time. So when I was conceived I was considered a miracle. My mother Yoshino had always dreamt of a son so when they found out they were having a boy it was like a dream come true… but sometimes having your dreams come true can feel like a nightmare. Because getting what you want always comes with strings attached.

My mother's pregnancy was not an easy one. My father had told me that my mother had been bedridden through her third trimester and was at high risk of having a miscarriage. Apparently something had gone wrong during my birth and the medic Nin's could not save us both. My father had had to choose whose life to save and whose to sacrifice for the other. It had all come down to my mother begging my father to save me so on the same day I was born my mother had died giving her own life to save mine.

But sometimes I wished she hadn't. Because I wasn't exactly the child that either of my parents had dreamt of. Sure other than my eyes I looked completely normal, the splitting image of my father I have been told but it was my eyes that gave away what was inside me. Pure ebony orbs there was no pupil, no iris, no sclera… nothing but pure darkness filled my eyes.

Everyone else in the Nara clan could use our clan's ninjutsu to manipulate shadows but I was different… I always had been.

My clans ninjutsu wasn't just a ninjutsu to me… it wasn't a ninjutsu at all actually. The shadows… the darkness… the element that my clan could manipulate it wasn't just something that I could manipulate or control it was a part of me… an extension of my body.

Most children my age were scared of the dark. Scared of the shadows and creatures that lurked within its depths. But it didn't scare me if there was one place where I felt most at peace it was in the darkness surrounded by the shadows.

Unlike my clan members I did not need to attach my shadow to my opponents to trap them in my hold for I was a master of my element and every shadow belonged to me. I understood the shadows in a way that no one every had I understood that every living being needed their shadow to survive for it was an extension of their person a part of their very soul visible for the world to see. I also understood that if I wanted to I could rip a persons shadow away from their body in under a second killing them instantly.

So yes I knew why people were afraid of me it wasn't just because of my eyes even though I knew that was a large part of the reason it was because they knew that at any moment I could trap their shadow and they would be mine to control. They would be left as nothing more than a puppet and I its master.

My abilities did not just stop at being able to trap and steal people's shadows from them though. That was only the basics, simply a slight variation of what my clan members could already do with their manipulation ninjutsu.

I was a master of my element and combine that with the intelligence my clan was so well-known for I was almost unstoppable. So the shadows… the darkness… they were all mine… mine to control mine to command and there was absolutely nothing that I couldn't do with my element.

But despite what people thought I wasn't a monster. I didn't murder innocent people and I didn't steal people's shadows. Could I? Yes I could. But would I? No I wouldn't. I did not like fighting even though both my father and the Hokage himself had insisted on my early enrolment to the academy both men agreeing that my abilities were not to be wasted. Quiet frankly I would rather be sitting alone in my clan's forest watching the clouds where the trees thick density caused the most wonderful shadows and darkness to flood the area.

But even though it was troublesome my father and the Hokage had plans for me plans that even if I did not agree with I had to follow through with because that was what was expected of me.

My name is Shikamaru Nara. I was born on September 22nd. I am six years old. I have an IQ of 210. I am the reason my mother is dead. I am not the child my parents dreamed of. I do not have any friends nor do I want any. I do not like fighting but not becoming a Shinobi was never a choice for me. I like to sit in my clan's forest and watch the clouds. I like to be alone… because being alone is something I have always been… but most of all I hate dreams… because a dream was the reason I was born and the nightmare that followed that dream is the reason I am like I am.

The problem is dreams don't come true. It's the nightmares that always seen to become the reality.

So this is my story… this is my nightmare.


	2. Chapter 2

**My Story... My Nightmare**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters involved in this story.

**Warnings: **There will be violence, adult content/situations and rude language so this is your warning if you don't like any of those things. Rating T for now but will go up to M later.

Hope you enjoy this chapter I tried to make it longer :) sorry about there not being much dialog in this chapter but seeing as he still doesn't have any friends there isn't going to be much dialog for a little while longer. Sakura will enter the story in the next chapter or two.

Please review and let me know if you like this so far. Thanks! xx

* * *

The streets of Konoha were surprisingly empty as I walked down the path towards the village entrance but then again it was fairly late in the afternoon so I guess it was understandable as to why there was barley anyone left lingering outside.

My hands shoved in my pockets and my head tilted up I watch the sky as the sun set causing vibrant red and orange light to paint the sky above me. Ignoring the world around me was easy when I could focus my attention solely on the sky above me it was what got me through the day until I was able to retreat back to my forest… my haven.

I didn't notice I had reached the village gates until I heard the voices of Izumo Kamizuki and Kotetsu Hagane calling to me. Turning my gaze away from the sky I looked towards the two Chūnin Shinobi who were on guard duty.

"Hey kid how was class?" Izumo asked smiling down at me

"Hn… troublesome as usual" I answered his question like I did almost every day after nodding my head in their direction in greeting.

Izumo and Kamizuki were… how should I put it? Strange? Well yes they were strange but not because they were weird or anything but because they had never treated me like the rest of the village had. They were always asking about how my lessons at the academy were going and dare I say they actually sounded honestly interested in my answers even though they were never longer than a few words.

They treated me nicely… like they almost cared for me. The prospect of that being true however seemed ridiculous and completely alien to me. I was unaccustomed to people treating me in such a way so I felt like I had every right to be apprehensive towards them at first.

I still remembered the first time they had attempted to talk to me I had walked home after my first day at the academy and when I reached the village gates they had asked how my first day had gone to say I was shocked would be an understatement so after glancing at both men in confusion I had left quickly walking the short remaining distance towards the Nara Clan property to then retreat into the Clan's forest.

But despite having ignored them it had not deferred either man as they had asked me a similar question the very next day. This continued for two months straight until I finally mumbled the word 'troublesome' which resulted in both men giving me this look that still to this day I do not understand… they had smiled at me. Like full-blown grinned at me. I had hoped that maybe now they had their answer they would leave me alone but the very next day they asked me the very same question they did every day and like the day before I muttered 'troublesome' and then waited for their reaction and like the day before they both seemed more than happy with my response.

So ever since I would reply in a similar fashion as time passed and it occurred to me that they had no intention to stop asking me questions I slowly but shortly allowed my responses to grow a little in length. Every time I allowed this to happen their reactions were almost worth the extra effort I had to put in to respond to their repeated questions.

"Learn anything new?" Kotetsu asked like he usually did at least once a week.

"No really" I mumbled as I turned my gaze back to the sky "Just worked on Taijutsu"

Silence fell around us and as I was about to leave I was stopped yet again by another question that Izumo threw at me.

"Is he still ignoring you?"

It wasn't a question that either man asked often frankly over the past six months since I started at the academy the question had only come up a hand full of times. But quiet frankly I wished it didn't come up at all. I knew that they did not approve of me walking the long distance from the academy to the Nara property outside the village gates alone. I knew that if they could they would walk me home themselves despite having reassured them on several occasions that I was fine. But most importantly I knew they disliked the way my father treated me. They did not think it was appropriate to let a six-year-old walk home by himself even if I was more than capable of doing so they said it still wasn't right.

But I knew they wouldn't understand so I had never bothered explaining it to them. Because they just couldn't understand… no one could. No one could understand the look of contempt… the look of pure regret that filled my fathers eyes every time he looked at me. I was a reminder. A painful reminder of what he gave up, of what he once had. I was a reminder of the dream that had not come true. The regret in his eyes told me he wished it were my mother's life he had chosen to save that day.

I knew that was why he distanced himself from me and because of that I let him. So when the Hokage had insisted on my early enrolment to the academy my father had agreed immediately saying that my skills were not to be wasted and that maybe then something good could come out of my mothers sacrifice. Maybe if I became a successful powerful Shinobi maybe then some light could make its way into the nightmare that my parents dream had become. So because of that I had not argued I had not voiced my thoughts… had not told them I did not like fighting and accepted that this was what my life would be.

I had killed my mother I would not deny my father anything if maybe it would make him happy. If maybe it could make him look at me without contempt and scorn filling his eyes. If maybe it would make him not regret his choice… foolish thoughts… foolish wishes of a little boy but I could not help myself despite being so mature for my age and despite having the intelligence to rival anyone twice my age I was still only six years old and wanting my father to want me did not seem like much to ask.

I knew I would never have his love… I knew that. But I wished that he could at least accept me… actually be proud to have me as his son.

Foolish hopes… foolish dreams.

"When has he not though?" I asked even though we all knew I did not expect an answer.

Giving them a weak smile I continued walking wanting nothing more than to reach the forest as quickly as possible so I could retreat to my safe place.

When I finally reached the clearing in the middle of the Nara Clan forest it was already dark the sun having set during my trip. Walking to the middle of the clearing I sat down on the grass below me leaning back on my arms so I could look up at the night sky.

Sometimes I wondered if my mother was up their… amongst the stars.

It wasn't often that I allowed my thoughts to stray towards my mother the very thought of her being painful in itself because it just reminded me of what I was.

I was a nightmare.

But I didn't want to be… I didn't mean to be.

Sighing I let myself fall backwards so I was lying on the forest floor. I had no intention to return home tonight. I rarely ever actually went home unless I needed a change of clothes it's not like my father noticed my absence anyway. This forest catered to my every need. There was a hot spring not to far away from my clearing that I used to bathe and there was plenty of fruit that grew here and the deer always kept me company if I felt the need for it. I was safer here surrounded by the forest than anywhere else in the village.

It was sad but true that this forest was my real home.

As I lay there the moon and the stars being the only thing lighting up the forest I could feel the shadows creeping towards me. I could feel the darkness wrapping itself around my body like a second skin.

If there was one thing I had never told anyone before… not that I had anyone to tell. But if there was one thing it would be the fact that even though I was alone… I was never truly alone.

The darkness… the shadows… it talked to me… in my mind.

I didn't tell anyone because well people already thought I was a freak there was no need to give them more reason to believe I was mentally insane. Just like everything to do with my abilities the voice had been there for as long as I could remember and there had not been a time when I didn't know the voices name. It was called Yami.

'_Why?' _I thought knowing I did not need to elaborate any further knowing that Yami would know what I meant.

'_**Because she knew your life was more important than her own' **_

'_So far I don't see how that can be true' _

'_**You don't give yourself enough credit boy. With practice you will be the most powerful Shinobi that has ever lived. Your mother could feel your power she knew the potential that you have that is why she gave her life for yours'**_

'_But what if I don't want to be a powerful Shinobi? What if I just want to be a regular Shinobi? What if for once I just want to normal?'_

'_**You were not born to be normal or simply regular Shikamaru you know that'**_

I knew what Yami was saying was true but that didn't mean it didn't frustrate me.

'_I know' _

'_**Go to sleep it is the weekend tomorrow and you need to continue your training'**_

Upon hearing Yami's words I felt the shadows wrap tighter around my body keeping me warm despite the cool night air.

'_Goodnight Yami'_

'_**Goodnight'**_

* * *

The next day came and I found myself walking the streets of the village heading towards the Forty-Fourth training grounds. After having a conversation with Yami that morning he had informed me that the forest of death would be a perfect place to continue my training. Never one to argue with Yami I had agreed immediately.

A large iron fence-keeping people out but more importantly keeping what was inside in surrounded the forest itself. I doubted I was actually meant to be going inside the perimeter seeing as I wasn't even a Genin yet but I needed to find another place to train. I did not like training in my Clan's forest, as it was my safe place a place where I could relax and clear my thoughts. I did not want to tarnish such a place by destroying parts of it with my training.

So when Yami suggested the forest of death I knew it would be a perfect training area. The forest itself was supposedly even darker and dense than my forest and the creatures that lived there were apparently very dangerous. All in all it sounded perfect.

Reaching the iron gates I stood at a distance knowing a place like this would be guarded and would probably need permission to enter.

Sighing I stepped back into the shadow of the trees surrounding the perimeter. I closed my eyes and allowed my breathing to even out as I pulled the shadows to my body wrapping them around myself and allowing them to engulf me.

Transporting myself through the shadows of the world was just one more thing I could do with my powers. People didn't understand but there was a lot more to shadows than what the human eye could see. Every shadow no matter if it is a human shadow or not they are all gateways to another place a place where all shadows are connected in one world of darkness and I could use my powers to move through those shadows allowing me to teleport myself anywhere. I didn't like to use this power very often preferring to take my time and walk to the places I needed to go seeing as I was never in a particular rush to get anywhere but at times like this it sure came in handy to be able to transport myself the way I could.

Focusing on my destination I allowed my body to move through the shadows until I found the one I was looking for grabbing onto it I reopened my eyes to see the last of the shadows falling away from me leaving me standing on the other side of the iron gates that were meant to keep me out.

"How troublesome" I mumbled shaking my head at how easy that had been.

Turning my gaze away from the gates I looked into the darkness that was this forest.

"_I could get used to this place' _I thought as I walked forward. Heading deeper into the forest.

'_**You know someone probably knows you're in here'**_ Yami commented dryly as I walked into the darkest section of the forest I could find.

'_I guarantee you someone knows it was too easy to get in here otherwise. But if they want me to leave they will have to find me first' _I thought as I lifted my right hand to run it along the shadows around me caressing them almost.

I was interrupted by the sound of movement off to the left of me turning my gaze towards the sound I was met with bright yellow eyes staring back at me. Sighing I readied myself to fight.

* * *

I didn't feel their presence until late in the afternoon when I had just finished cutting down the latest creäture that had attacked me.

'_Took them longer than I thought it would' _I thought as I whipped some of the blood that was splattered on my face off.

'_**You made a bit of a mess boy… that's not your usual style'**_ Yami commented obviously referring the amount of blood that was covering the area of the forest that I was now in.

'_Just trying something different' _I shrugged he was right I knew the way I had fought these past hours was not my usual style. Usually my kills were clean precise not saying that these weren't precise because if there was one thing that I always was it was precise however this time nothing about my fighting style had been clean every move taken had been taken with the goal to cause the greatest amount of pain and result in the largest amount of blood shed.

'_**Don't lie to me boy I know there is more to it than that'**_ I could hear the knowing tone to his voice and I knew there was no point lying.

'_They all call me a monster… a demon… maybe I just wanted to feel what it would be like to actually act like a monster' _I admitted as I rubbed the blood off my hands onto my trousers.

'_**And how did it feel? Did you like it?' **_Yami asked

'_Can we talk about this later Yami we have company'_ I wasn't ready to admit to myself that maybe I liked what I had just done more than I should let alone admit it to anyone else even if it was only Yami.

Turning my thoughts back to the two people trying to hide from me up in the tree tops above I mentally scoffed at their attempt I had felt them as soon as they entered the forest. Yes they had hidden their chakra so I could not detect it but this forest was completely swallowed by darkness and there was nothing that I could not see in the dark.

Looking up at the tree they were hiding in I felt their surprise to the fact I was looking right at where they were now hidden.

"I know your there" I spoke loud enough to know they would hear me "You can't hide from me in the darkness" You could hear the amusement in my voice as I smirked in their direction.

Two figures stepped into view moments later a man and a woman. The man was wearing a green Jōnin vest the woman however was wearing a tan overcoat.

'_**I suggest you leave'**_

'_Way ahead of you' _I thought as the shadows wrapped themselves around my body once again as I ready to leave.

Giving them one last parting glance I let myself be surrounded by the darkness disappearing completely only to reappear back near the entrance of the forest where I had stood that morning.

'_**You know their going to come looking for you'**_

'_Let them' _I thought as I turned and started walking back towards the village gates.

Like I said before they would have to find me first.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters involved in this story.

**Warnings: **There will be violence, adult content/situations and rude language so this is your warning if you don't like any of those things. Rating T for now but will go up to M later.

Ok so Sakura probably wont be entering the story until maybe chapter 5. I want to cover some other more important things first. But next chapter someone very important to Shikamaru will make a appearance. Can you guess who it will be?

I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter I'm not exactly 100% happy with it but it'll have to do cause I wanted to get something up before I go out clubbing tonight.

Oh and also to the **Guest **that reviewed thank you I appreciated it a lot! Don't worry I like teenage Shikamaru better to and there will be a time skip soon. The only reason I wanted to begin this story with him at the age of six is because I wanted him to meet Sakura as a kid and for her to become his first friend and vice versa. Because even though this isn't just a love story I am still a hopeless romantic and this is a Shika/Saku fic so don't worry they will be teenagers in a couple of chapters. I understand you concern of there being no where left for him to go since he is so powerful at such a young age but trust me there is, my plot does involve him struggling I promise just maybe not in the way you want. There will be a lot of obstacles and issues he will have to overcome. I hope that this chapter and the next few will explain more into the struggles I plan for him to face. I like your idea of keeping his abilities hidden from the rest of the Shinobi and hopefully it didn't come across that everyone already knows the extent of his powers because that wasn't my intention. Anyway thank you so much for reviewing means a lot :)

Hope you like please review!

* * *

I watched as the water around me slowly turned red as the blood ran off my body. I had returned to my forest after leaving the forest of death in desperate need of a bath. Retreating through my forest stripping my soiled clothes off my body as I went I found myself standing in the water of my hot springs my eyes unable to look away from the blood that dripped down my skin into the water.

The sun was growing low in the sky but I could tell sunset was still a few hours off. Leaving me enough time to bathe before going to find something to eat.

'_**So…' **_Yami began before trailing off as if he was waiting for me to allow him to interrupt my silence.

'_Yes?'_ I asked I would never ignore Yami or ask him to leave me alone. He was all I had in this world.

'_**I think we should talk about earlier Shikamaru' **_

I knew this was coming. Yami wasn't the kind of person to just leave things like this alone especially when they involved me. I knew he would want an answer but I wasn't sure I had one to give him. I wasn't even sure how I felt about anything that had happened today.

'_I don't know what to say Yami' _I was being honest because I really didn't know what to say.

'_**How about you start by answering my question from earlier… How did it feel? Did you like it?' **_There was no judgment in his tone I could tell Yami just wanted to help me and just wanted an answer. I knew that no matter how I answered his questions I would not have to worry about him judging me.

'_I don't know Yami…' _I sighed as the last of the blood ran off my skin swirling around my body as I stared at my reflection in the water that was now tinted red.

'_There is this thing inside me… this part of me that I don't understand. It's always been there like it was almost asleep but ever since I started my training at the academy and was forced to actually start fighting it's like it has woken up and… I just don't know it is so troublesome… it's like… Yami I don't know how to explain it' _

'_**Try for me… what does this part of you feel like?'**_

'_It makes me feel like… like the monster everyone thinks I am. Its like it's my primitive side… my animal side'_

'_**So today in the forest?' **_Even though he didn't ask me a direct question I knew what he was referring to.

'_I let it out… I let it take over. I wanted to know what it would feel like if I let it have control. I wanted to know what it would feel like if I acted like the monster everyone thinks I am'_

'_**And did you like it?' **_

We fell into silence as I mulled the question over. Staring at my reflection in the water I wasn't sure what I saw anymore. I wasn't sure if I liked what I saw or not. The bloodied water gave my already pitch black eyes a demonic look to them… and what scared me was I wasn't sure if I didn't like that look.

Tearing my gaze away I whipped my hand through the water's surface causing the bloodied water to disperse and slowly melt away until I was left staring back at a clear reflection no blood to interfere with my thoughts… but the look the blood had given my eyes had not left… the demonic glint had stayed and again it terrified me that I wasn't more disgusted for not being bothered that it remained.

'_I don't know Yami… I just don't know'_

The weekend passed quickly after that I opted to stay in my forest to avoid any unwanted attention. It wasn't often that I could just sit and let my mind empty as I watched the sky but after the thoughts that had plagued my mind Saturday afternoon I did not want to let my mind wander fearing similar thoughts and feelings would come to the surface if I let them.

I had lived my whole life not being afraid of anything. Even the concept of being afraid of something was illogical to me. How could I be afraid of anything when the nightmares of any normal child were pure paradise to me? It was illogical.

So to finally be afraid of something… especially a part of myself, well I just didn't know what to do about it.

Fighting like I had said many times before did not appeal to me in the slightest. I found it unnecessary and troublesome. I didn't think my opinion on this matter would ever change either. I had accepted that yes I would have to fight, as it was required of me as a Shinobi but I had never expected a part of me to like it.

That part of me… the part that scared me I wished it had stayed dormant hidden deep inside me. I wished it had never woken up because even though I knew it had always been there in the back of my mind it had never spoken to me before until I started at the academy and started to use my abilities for more than just survival. Up until my enrolment to the academy I had only ever used my powers to survive in this world. I knew no normal six-year-old practically lived in a forest alone. If it wasn't for my shadows I know I wouldn't have survived for as long as I have.

However it didn't speak to me in the traditional sense and I was glad for that because I wasn't sure I could handle another voice inside me head. I already had two I didn't need a third. Instead it made me feel emotions that were not my own… well at least they didn't feel like my own.

I had managed to ignore it up until I had entered the forest of death. It was like being in there made the emotions all that much clear and prominent. And again I wasn't sure if I liked that or not.

It made me feel so many things.

Aggravation.

Rage.

Ferocity.

Hatred.

They were just a few of the more frequent emotions. I had never felt things like that before. Despite being hated by my father and almost the entire village, Izumo and Kamizuki excluded. I had never felt any anger towards anyone who wished me ill. I didn't see the need to. It took too much effort to actually hate anyone or be angry with people just because they did not like me. I had never been liked so it wasn't like it was a new concept.

So to feel such raw emotions that were so different to my usual indifference and calm emotions I again wasn't sure what to do. I didn't no what to do with these new emotions that until now I had successfully ignored.

I had so many questions that I could not answer because at the end of the day I wasn't sure if I liked any of it or not. The fact that I couldn't say that I didn't want these emotions was what was scaring me the most though. Because a part of me wanted to feel those things again.

I needed to go back to the forest of death.

Just once more.

Because one more time couldn't hurt… could it?


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters involved in this story.

**Warnings: **There will be violence, adult content/situations and rude language so this is your warning if you don't like any of those things. Rating T for now but will go up to M later.

Thank you Rerezhang and Guest for reviewing :) I'm glad you liked the third chap.

So far I have up to chapter ten planned out and I am going to spend my day off tomorrow writing those chaps out and planning more.

* * *

Yami had insisted that I not return to the forest of death straight away saying it was too risky to go the very next day after being found in there. I had disagreed at first thinking Yami didn't want me to return there at all until he reminded me it had been his idea in the first place for me to train there and that he just wanted me to stop and think about the situation for a moment.

Yami was right returning the very next day probably wouldn't be the smartest move I didn't want to risk getting in trouble for being in there to often which could result in them telling my father. And that was something I did not want to happen. So I agreed with Yami that I would wait a few weeks and see if anyone approached me about having been in there.

A week passed by without being confronted by anyone which led me to start to believe that the two figures who found me in the forest either weren't going to come looking for me or were just waiting for me to return to the forest.

'_**Give it another week to be sure' **_

'_Why? It's been a week and no one has said anything to me. Why cant I just go back now?' _

The thought of having to wait another week before I could return to the forest of death was almost to agonizing to even think about. I wanted answers and the only way I would get them was if I went back. Just thinking about having to wait another week was causing those emotions that were not my own to change and morph into new emotions that I had never felt before.

The rage and ferocity were still there but now I could feel longing, hunger and a thirst for what I didn't know but the emotions were getting stronger by the day. It was like ever since I let that part of me take over it was making me crave something. I wasn't sure what but the only answer I could come up with was that it was causing me to have a craving for a fight. It was like it only needed me to have let it have control once before it could start slowly taking over parts of my mind making me think and want things I hadn't before.

'_**Do not argue Shikamaru. You will wait another week just to be safe'**_

I could tell Yami only wanted the best for me and I knew in the end he was right but that did not make the need to return to the forest and lesson.

Sighing in defeat I brought my attention back to the present looking up to see our sensei teaching a lesson on the Shinobi Rules all of which I already knew. How boring.

Turning my gaze away from the lesson I looked out the window to my left that pointed out into the field that sat next to the academy. A lot of lessons were taught out there seeing as there was a lot of space for practice. At the present moment there was a group of girls sitting on the grass as they listened to the Kunoichi who was teaching the lesson.

'_What are they doing out there?'_

'_**Flower arranging it's a class for pre-academy students. They are too young to attend the academy to become Kunoichi but the academy offers simple lessons like flower arranging that will help those girls blend in later in life when they become Kunoichi and are sent on infiltration missions'**_

'_Flower arranging… sounds troublesome' _

'_**Of cause it does you find most things troublesome' **_

I could hear Yami reply to me but the words did not process in my mind as something caught my attention.

Pink.

A girl maybe only a year younger than myself sat off to the side of the group alone but that wasn't what made me notice her. No it was her hair that caught my attention.

Bright bubblegum pink hair.

It fell around her like a curtain making it impossible for me to see her face as she stared down at her lap.

I could feel Yami itching to comment on my sudden interest in this girl but he wisely kept his thoughts and opinions to himself and for that I was thankful because I wasn't sure why this girl seemed to interest me. Pink hair even if it was an unusual shade wasn't exactly something that would usually hold my attention for more than a moment. But no matter how hard I tried to tear my gaze away I just couldn't.

Just one more thing to add to the growing list of things I wasn't sure if I liked or not.

'_When did my life become so difficult?'_

'_**The day you were born' **_I could hear the amusement behind Yami's reply, which only caused the frown that graced my lips to deepen even more.

'_Shush you' _

* * *

The week passed by agonizingly slow each day seemed to stretch on forever. Yami was getting annoyed at my complaining and quiet frankly so was I. I had never wanted something so badly before but be forced to wait for it. The longing and craving to return to the forest was becoming unbearable causing it to take over my mind almost completely.

I was used to having a calm mind I was a Nara I was intelligent and with that came being able to think things through clearly and have patience like no other. It was one of the things my Clan was so well-known for. So to now have my mind so disorganized and chaotic was unbearable.

'_God how do I make it stop Yami!?'_

'_**You need to find the answers to the questions you have'**_

Groaning I agreed silently deciding I couldn't wait until tomorrow I headed towards the road that would take me to the forest of death instead of continuing home.

I usually didn't enter this part of town on a Friday night never having not gone straight home to my forest after a day of classes at the academy so I hadn't realized how packed these parts of the streets became at this time on a Friday night.

Civilians and Shinobi alike all walked the streets either entering or exiting the many bars that lined the street. I paid none of them any mind, as I did not expect them to react any differently than usual towards me as I quickly hurried through the streets. But if I had I would have seen a set of eyes following me with their gaze.

The craving was the only thing I could focus on. I was grateful that the sun had not long set leaving me surrounded by the night's darkness allowing me to easily and quickly wrap the shadows around my body as soon as the iron fence came into view. I was to preoccupied focusing on disappearing and reappearing on the other side of the fence once I had found the right shadow to latch onto that I did not notice the figure that stood at a distance watching me.

Yami was unusually quiet but I pushed those thoughts aside coming to the conclusion that he was just letting me focus on what I needed to do.

I was restless and uneasy I had been for the past two weeks and just thinking about being able to rid myself of such feelings send a wave of excitement through my body.

Hurrying through the forest letting the shadows guide me to where they wanted me to go I clenched my fists in anticipation.

Suddenly the shadows that guided me stopped sinking back into the darkness and leaving me standing in a part of the forest that I hadn't been in before. The forest of death was eerily quiet I had taken note of that the first time I was here so I wasn't surprised that the forest around me was silent.

If it wasn't for my eyes I would have not been able to sense the animal that was not to far away from me. Nothing could hide from me in the darkness because everything in the darkness belonged to me.

The huge bear that was bearing its teeth and making its way towards me was jet black its eyes so dark that to anyone else would blend into the darkness as well as the rest of it so easily did. But its eyes were what gave it away they were as bright as the sun compared to my ebony orbs.

As it approached I felt something pull at my mind. Letting a smirk grace my lips I let the part of myself I had always kept separate take over. I would have my answers soon. After this I would finally know if I liked the feelings that this part of me made me feel. I would finally understand.

I felt my eyes sharpen even more just like they had last time. Before I couldn't see in the dark, yes I sense where things were and see better than a normal human could but I still couldn't see in the dark as if it was day. But as soon as I let that side of myself out my eyes sharpened and everything around me came into focus it was like someone had turned on a light in a dark room. I could see everything so clearly. Everything I had once been able to sense was now before me as clear as day. Yes everything had a sort of dark purple hue to it caused by the darkness but it did not hinder my ability to see but enhanced it instead. Now what I always said was true. Nothing could hide from me in the dark.

Seeing the bear was now only meters in front of me I waited for it to make the first move.

The primitive side… the animal side that I had let out caused a growl of anticipation to rip from my throat as the bear that was ten times my size lunged at me. As I sidestepping the attack with more grace than I usually possessed I felt the shadows around my hands start to harden becoming kunai.

The bear swiped at me again as I dodged backwards into the air as I threw the shadow kunai aiming for the bears front left leg. The feeling of satisfaction ran through me as the kunai lodged themselves into the bear's leg blood instantly running from the wounds.

Lifting my hand I focused on the shadow kunai as I made them slowly begin to change back into their true form. The shadows imbedded into the bears leg began to wrap violently around its form as it roared in agony.

I liked that… I liked that sound.

Now that I had some of my shadows attached to its body I focused more shadows to combine with the original shadow. I knew I could do this quickly by just stealing the bears shadow and killing it instantly by tearing its soul right from its body but I didn't want it to be a quick or clean kill.

To caught up in the moment I failed to notice the man sitting on the branch above watching me instruct the shadows that were coming from the forest floor to wrap around the bears body completely causing it to let our the most enjoyable sounds of pain.

With my arm outstretched in front of me I slowly started to close my hand forming a fist. The more I closed my hand the tighter the shadows became cutting into the bears flesh causing blood to spray out from the wounds left behind.

This bear would die that was for curtain. Whether it was from blood loss or from something else entirely was up to me.

And suddenly a new emotion washed over me. I had never felt anything like it before and I wasn't sure exactly what it meant. But it was urging me to do something. Retreating into my mind I focused on that feeling needing to decipher what it meant. But what I found shocked me.

The need to kill.

That was what that emotion was. It was the craving to kill this creature in the slowest and most painful way I could. The pure need to violently kill this bear and see its blood splattered around me.

And that was when the answers I had looked for became crystal clear.

I had been wrong in my assumption that it had been the fighting that part of me was craving. No it wasn't the fighting at all that I was craving.

The longing, hunger and a thirst I had felt since I first let my other side take over was the craving, the need to brutally kill anything that defied me or came in the way of what I wanted.

'_**You have every answer but one' **_Yami broke my train of thought with his statement obviously not being able to hold back any longer _**'Do you like it'**_

Did I? Did I like this hunger to kill that was coursing through my veins burning red-hot with need. Did I like such a primitive feeling? Did I want this? How could I answer any of these questions unless I gave in completely and brutally killed this creature before me to see if I indeed liked these feelings?

'_**Do it'**_

Having Yami's approval was the final push I needed to clench my fist closed tighter than necessary my blunt nails digging into the skin of my palm cutting in and leaving blood to run trough my fingers down my arm dripping onto the forest floor below me.

As soon as my first clenched the shadows tightened at an alarming pace putting so much pressure onto the bear that the explosion of blood, guts and shadows should have surprised me but it didn't. Blood splattered the area around me as well as myself. Lowering my hand to my side I relished in the feeling of blood running down my skin.

So the only question left to answer was did I like it?

Yes.

Yes I liked it, yes I wanted more and yes I had ever intention of having more.

Yami had told me on more than one occasion that I would be the most powerful and greatest Shinobi this world has ever seen. And even though I used to argue that I just wanted to be an average Shinobi I have always known he was right and that I had little choice in the matter. But how can I become that man who Yami insists I will one day become if I am fighting with myself? Fighting to keep a part of me at bay.

This part… this part of me that lusted to kill that lusted for blood. It was a part of me a part of me that I needed and wanted to accept.

My mind shouldn't be slip into parts. There shouldn't be parts to begin with. They should be all one. I wasn't scared anymore.

'_**Maybe they are separate for a reason Shikamaru'**_

'_What reason could that be?'_

'_**Maybe because you cannot control this side of you. You have always had such good control over your powers because of your superior intellect. But you can't control this part of you. You have been a mess ever since you let it out. Your behavior as been erratic. You have been restless and uneasy I don't even know when you slept last. Maybe its separate because your mind wants to protect you from itself' **_

'_I don't care' _I thought stubbornly _'I don't care if I can't control it… I don't want to control it! I like the way it makes me feel. I have never felt anything except loneliness, seclusion and heartache. So maybe I just want to feel something different for a change! All my life I have been hated and shunned just because I was born. No one knows what true loneliness is until they have lived a day in my shoes. Maybe I don't want to hurt anymore! I have never hated anyone for the way they treat me but this side of me wants to hate them… This part of me wants to give them a real reason to be scared of me… They think I'm a monster! So why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't I give them what they want! Why shouldn't I become the monster that I apparently already am?'_

My words were filled with the rage that I was feeling. I knew Yami only wanted the best for me and always tried to steer me in the right direction but this time he was wrong. This time there was only one direction I could go. And I planned to follow that direction and see where it leads me. Good or bad it didn't matter as long as I could continue feeling these new emotions. I didn't want to hurt anymore… I wanted to feel something other than loneliness… my heart couldn't take another day of this. I had once wanted someone to love me. Wanted someone to except me for who I am. I had once foolishly hoped my father would be that person. If no one could except me or love me then why should I hope for it when I knew I would only be left hurt in the end.

I was sick of being alone because of something I had no say in. I was sick of being hated because of who I am. I was sick of it all. Of the loneliness, the judgment, the whispers and the glares… I was just sick of it. I did not ask to be born…. Didn't ask for my Clan's ninjutsu to mutate and leave me with my eyes and my abilities. I didn't ask for any of it!

Because I didn't need them I only needed Yami and myself. Because to them I was just a reminder of the past that they wish would disappear. I didn't need them… I didn't need their love even though I knew they would never give it… no I didn't need their love or care.

So if they couldn't learn to love or care for me then I refused to love and care for them anymore. Love only yourself… If I only loved myself then I couldn't be hurt or let down anymore… Love only yourself… yes I liked how that sounded.

'_**I hope you know what your doing'**_

That's the thing I didn't know what I was doing. No six-year-old should have to have lived the life I have so it was understandable that when I was offered something new something better than the life I lived now I was going to snap and take it.

My decision made I closed my eyes and retreated into my mind. Finding the barrier that separated my mind from this other part of me I noticed a crack in its surface. So that is how it got out. That was how I had been able to get a taste of it. Looking beyond the barrier I saw the darkness that swirled there waiting to be let out. Focusing I let my mind think of only one thing.

Tear down this barrier and become one mind.

Slowly the crack in the surface of the barrier began to grow. Slitting as it went until cracks were finally covering the surface. And that's when it began to crumble and the darkness that was once trapped leapt out and flooded my mind covering every inch before it started to seep in and disappear from sight. When it was finally gone I opened my eyes to only realize I had retained my sharpened eyesight.

My mind no longer felt like two halves.

That barrier hadn't only kept emotions locked away I realized as I stared down at my hands where the shadows swirling violently around my fingertips. They seemed to crackle with the pure power that was rolling off me in waves.

I was powerful before but never to this extent.

This is who I was… this is who I am… and I didn't want to control it.

Finally having the answers I wanted I let the shadows consume me so I could quickly retreat to my forest. So caught up in the new emotions and the new power that had been unleashed I did not notice the eyes that watched me disappear into thin air.

* * *

**A/N - **So I wrote this chapter like three times and I'm still not sure I'm happy with the result. I know my writing style is a bit different from others, basically its all over the place lol I know. So sorry about that I have tried to make it a little less messy. Anyway I'm not exactly happy with how this chapter turned out but it gets across what I needed to to move on with the real story. Gotta get all this beginning stuff outa the way so we can move onto the better stuff!

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters involved in this story.

**Warnings: **There will be violence, adult content/situations and rude language so this is your warning if you don't like any of those things. Rating T for now but will go up to M later.

* * *

Rising with the sun was the only frustrating thing about living in a forest. As soon as the first rays of light broke through the trees I would find my eyes opening to watch the sunrise each and every morning. So when the light woke me from my slumber I wasn't surprised seeing as it wasn't new to me. What was new however was the way the forest looked in the morning light.

I hadn't expecting the way my forest looked to change after the developments that happened yesterday. But it did. My sanctuary that was always filled with shadows was now shimmering with light causing the shadows that usually just sat there waiting for instruction to now almost dance in the morning light. The shadows had never moved on their own before I had always had to mentally focus on either pulling them to me or instruct them to do my bidding. They had never moved on their own before… never. So to see them moving so freely around me caused from the new power that was still rolling off me in waves was interesting and I wondered what else they would do now that they could move so freely.

Picking myself up off the forest floor I started getting ready for the day ahead of me. I was running low on clothes and would have to make a trip back to the house this morning. I only hoped my father wasn't there. Hopefully he had not returned yet from the mission that he had been on for the past month. Grabbing the rucksack that lay beneath one of the trees in my clearing I threw it over my shoulder and walked through the trees finding the dirt trail that would take me to house.

The trip was unusually quiet and Yami had not spoken a word to me yet this morning which was concerning in itself seeing as he always bid me good morning once I woke. Unable to ponder these thoughts any longer seeing as I had just reached the front porch of my family home I pushed them aside for the time being deciding to think more on it at a later time.

Walking up to the front door I opened it as quietly as I could, as I did not want to alert my father if he was indeed home. Quickly walking through the dimly lit hallways I entered my room and quickly grabbed everything I needed putting the dirty and mostly blood stained clothes into the clothes hamper knowing that the housemaid would have them washed and put away for me the next time I returned. Changing my clothes quickly I was thankful I had bathed last night so I didn't need to use the shower here.

The Nara home was more like a country estate, it was huge so it was understandable to have a housemaid seeing as my father was the only one who really lived here it was impossible for him to keep up with everything that needed doing as he was barely home as it was always off on missions or doing something for the council seeing as he was Konoha's Jounin Commander.

Walking into my adjoining bathroom I grabbed what I needed before quickly zipping up my rucksack wanting to get out of here soon incase my father found me.

Turning I made my way back into the hallways and headed for the front door but stopped short once I entered the font hall. There standing in front of the door was my father. An older more scared version of myself. I should have known I wouldn't be lucky enough to get out of here without speaking to him. He was covered in dirt and blood, a pack hanging from his shoulder telling me that he had just returned from his mission.

"Leaving?" He asked his face was blank I couldn't see any emotion there but his eyes were what gave him away they always did. And what I saw there shouldn't have surprised me.

The looks of loathing and disgust that were reserved only for me had never angered me before. I had always simply accepted those looks knowing that I probably deserved them for taking his wife from him but now they infuriated me. I could feel the rage building in my veins and I did nothing to stop it.

"Yes" I answered his one word question with a one word answer this man did not deserve a further explanation nor did I think he wanted one.

"How are your studies?" He asked and that question only infuriated me more to the point that the rage was burning red hot.

I knew my father kept tabs on my attendance and progress at the academy to make sure I was living up to the Nara name but he had never once actually asked me how my studies were going. Never once had this man shown any interest in actually asking me how I was going. But now he stood here obviously trying to start a conversation I could see it in his eyes. It was so small that if you weren't looking for it you would miss it behind the loathing and disgust but I saw it, the look of slight hope hidden there.

'_Your to late old man' _I thought angrily _'your six years to late to start trying to care now!'_

"Don't pretend you care," I snapped narrowing my eyes to glare at him.

It was too late for him to try to be my father now. Maybe before yesterday I would have accepted this attempt. Maybe then I would have been overjoyed that he had asked me such a simple question but that was then and this was now and now it was too late. I didn't need him anymore and I didn't want him either.

'_Love only yourself__'_

The words filled my mind and I could only agree with them wholeheartedly I didn't need anyone else.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts I didn't notice until now the look of shock and horror that had covered my father's once blank face.

"What?" I snapped almost letting the feral groan that was threatening to leave my lips out.

"Your eyes… their… their" My father stammered as he took a step back.

I didn't need to look to know what he was talking about. That demonic glint that I had seen in my eyes two weeks ago had not left and had only grown after I tore down the barrier.

"What are you" His tone was accusing and he was looking at me like all his nightmares really had come true.

"I'm what you made me," I growled before I disappeared grabbing onto the shadows in my clearing and collapsing onto the grass unable to stop my body from shaking violently with rage. If I had stayed a second longer I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from hurting him. I wanted to go back and destroy him for everything he had ever done to me. I craved it. I wanted him to hurt like I did. I wanted to see him bleed… wanted to see the light fade from his eyes.

Because I was telling the truth when I said I was what he had made me. They had all made me like this. They hadn't given me another option. They wanted me to be a monster so they could treat me like they did without guilt. If they wanted me to be a monster so bad I would give them what they wanted… It was too late to turn back now.

But I couldn't kill my father no matter how much I wanted to. He didn't deserve that no that would be doing him a favor. He deserved to suffer just like I had. Living was so much harder than dying.

'_**Calm down! Get control of yourself!'**_ Yami's voice was soothing but it did little to calm me like it used to. Doing what he told me to I reached into my mind and tried to gain control of the rage and need to kill that filled my body. Being able to control my abilities usually came so easily to me like it was second nature I had never actually had to try and control them before and that was why I was struggling to hold on.

The violent spasms that were rippling through my body did not stop and I had to grab my head as a sharp pain shot through it.

'_Make it stop'_ I cried out in my mind as I groaning in pain from trying to keep my rage under control. It was hurting me! My own abilities were hurting me because I was trying to gain control.

I had never had so little control over my abilities before and I knew I had said I didn't care if I couldn't control this new power but I didn't think it would hurt so bad when I tried to.

'_**You can't control it yet so stop trying! Its hurting you!' **_

I couldn't hold it anymore as my eyes shot open and what I saw shocked me. The shadows that I had seen move freely on their own this morning were now twisting violently around my form. Holding onto the bit of control I had left I jumped to my feet and started sprinting out of my clearing my rucksack forgotten on the ground.

I couldn't lose control there it was my haven and I didn't know what would happen when I let go completely but I knew it wouldn't be good. The pain in my head only grew more intense with every passing moment that I held on. I ran for half an hour until I felt like my head was going to explode. Now safely away from the village and a long way away from the Nara property I dropped to my knees in the field I was now in and let go of the last bit of control I had hung onto so desperately.

I don't remember what happened next… everything just went black.

* * *

'_**Wake… up…'**_

'_**Shikamaru… wake up'**_

'_**Wake up'**_

'_**You have to wake up'**_

'_**Wake up!'**_

I could hear Yami calling to me but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't open my eyes or move my body. So I just continued lying on the hand rocky ground not giving any thought to the fact that I had knelt on grass and not rocks before I passed out.

'_**WAKE UP!'**_

The urgency in Yami's voice was what made me groan and slowly open my eyes. My whole body was sore and I wasn't sure why.

'_What happened?' _I asked as I forced my body to sit up.

'_**Look around you'**_

Doing what he told me to I gapped at what I saw. What had once been a large flat field now had a huge crater in the center of it and I was sitting at the bottom.

'_What the hell!' _I thought _'What happened?'_

'_**You happened'**_ Yami's voice was dry and obviously trying hard to not sound knowing _**'I knew you wouldn't be able to control it'**_

'_This isn't the time for you to be saying I told you so. What happened'_

'_**It was like a huge explosion of shadows and energy. You were furious because of your father and because of that you couldn't control the huge build up of power and your body had to let it out. You passed out from the pain. Your powers are fueled by these new emotions your feeling and if you can't control your emotions then you will never be able to control this new power'**_

I didn't reply as I picked myself up off the ground and dusted the dirt from my clothes. What he said made total sense but I wasn't sure what to do about it.

'_**If you don't learn to control you emotions Shikamaru you will never get stronger. Your abilities were great before but now with this new power fueling your abilities you have the potential to become unstoppable'**_

'_But I don't know how to control them Yami'_

'_**We cant have this happening every time you get angry but until we find a way for you to control them we need to find something that will help calm you down so this doesn't happen again'**_

Nodding my head in agreement I started climbing out of the crater and headed back towards Konoha. It was still morning so I couldn't have been unconscious for to long and if I kept at this pace I would reach the village gates by noon.

When I finally did reach the gates I wasn't ready for the two bodies that surprised me with two bone crushing hugs.

"Cant… breath" I gasped out trying to fill my lounges with air before I was quickly dropped back down to the ground.

"Sorry bout that" The voice of Izumo reached my ears.

Looking up from where I had gasped desperately for air I saw Izumo and Kamizuki standing there, both giving me guilty smiles. I had forgotten all about these two over the past couple of days so the sudden physical contact was shocking. No one had ever hugged me before… yes I had been right with my first assessment of these two… they really were strange.

"We were just worried about you!" Kamizuki explained

"Where were you?" Izumo asked

"You never came through the gates yesterday afternoon. We were worried we checked at the academy to see if you were still there but they said you had already left" Kamizuki explained further once I didn't answer Izumo's question.

'_Wait what?' _I thought shocked did they just say what I think they did.

'_They were worried about… me? Why? They even went looking for me when I didn't come through the gates Friday afternoon? Why would they do that?'_

'_**Because they care about you Shikamaru I would have thought that was obvious by now'**_

I had forgotten all about Izumo and Kamizuki when I had been in the forest of death yesterday making my decision. I had forgotten that these two men seemed to care about me for some strange reason. I had forgot them when I had made my choice only remembering everyone that hated me.

'_Love only yourself__'_

Those words that I had only hours ago agreed wholeheartedly with now didn't seem as appealing to me as they did then.

Izumo and Kamizuki had never treated me poorly. They had been the first and only people to treat me like a human being who had feelings.

I had always been so cautious around them just waiting for the day that they would hurt me like all the rest. Yes I had slowly opened up to them more and more over the past months but that didn't mean I still wasn't suspicious. But they had yet again surprised me by being worried about me. Going looking for me when I didn't come to the village gates straight after I left the academy like I did every day of the week.

They cared about me there was no denying that. But should I let them… did I want them to continue to care about me?

'_**Would it be so bad if they did? They have never hurt you. They only want the best for you. They want you to be safe'**_

'_But I don't need anyone else I only need myself and you Yami' _

'_**But I am not human Shikamaru. I cannot do for you what they can. They can be a physical form of comfort and support where I can only be a mental form'**_

'_But' _I began to argue but was cut off.

'_**Do not push away the only human bonds you have Shikamaru it is our bonds that help us to become strong'**_

So maybe I could keep these two as… well whatever they were to me.

'_Fine… I only need myself, you, Izumo and Kamizuki. Happy? But what do I tell them?'_

'_**Yes I am and the truth… or at least a bit of the truth'**_

"I was tired and transported myself back home I didn't feel like walking the whole way," I said finally waiting for their reactions

"You can do the teleportation jutsu?" Izumo asked shock

"No I umm… my shadows… I can move through the shadows to transport myself anywhere I want to go" I explained

"That's so cool" Kamizuki said grinning down at me

"Don't tell anyone?" I asked hoping I had done the right thing trusting these two with something like this.

"Don't worry little bro we wont tell anyone," Kamizuki promised

'_Little bro?' _

"Just don't scare us like that again" Izumo said "We were really worried about you little bro"

'_There it is again… what the hell?'_

'_**Ask them'**_

"Little bro?" I asked looking up at them confused at what they meant by that.

"Of cause" Kamizuki said the grin never leaving his lips.

"Kamizuki is my brother. We might not be related by blood but he is closer to me than any blood brother could be" Izumo explained

"And Izumo is my brother blood or not" Kamizuki agreed nodding his head "We care about you Shikamaru"

"We know you might not know what that's like. To have someone care about you" Izumo said "But we do Shikamaru we care and we always will"

"Your like a little brother to us" Kamizuki finally finished.

'_**See they do care Shikamaru. They care more than either of us thought'**_

'_They see me as a little brother?'_

"Why?" I asked unable to stop myself

"Because who else is going to look out for you?" Izumo asked

"That's what big brothers do they look out for their little brothers. We will always look out for you and protect you Shikamaru" Kamizuki said

"We promise" Izumo said now also grinning down at him.

'_Why would they do that? Why would they want to look out for me and protect me?'_

'_**Because they care… don't think too much on it just accept it'**_

"Ok… Onii-Chan's" I mumbled shyly I wasn't used to this but I couldn't say it didn't feel nice having people care.

I had only made my decision yesterday it wasn't to late to alter it slightly. I would let these two in only because I was now certain they would never hurt me.

As soon as the words came out of my mouth I knew it was worth it because the looks of pure happiness on Izumo and Kamizuki's faces.

"Just promise not to scare us like that again" Izumo smiled affectingly down at me as he placed his hand on my hair and rubbed it making me swat it away instantly knowing he had messed up my ponytail that sat on top of my head.

"Stop that Onii-Chan" I mumbled pushing his hand away "And yeah… I promise"

This day could not get any weirder.

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**A/N - **Two chaps in one day :) Not long now until the time skip! Next Chap Shikamaru meets Sakura :)

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